The Dark Side Is Looming

Alirght. I still work a Paddy O'Neils.
Or one of the various names I like to call it; Hell's Anus.

The other day, being a Saturday, we got a new dishwasher.
Now when I say we got a new dishwasher, I actually mean my boss has gone out of his way to find the most worthless piece of crap he can find and says, "Hey. I think you can piss people off! Come work for me."

So we get the new guy. He leaves as soon as I walk into the kitchen.
He leaves me with a bunch of shit to do that should have been done oh, I don't know, let's do the math:

Opening dishwasher comes in a 12pm.
Closing dishwasher comes in a 6pm.
There are only two dishwashers a day.
Day shift is pretty easy. No reason anyone, AND SHOWTIME MEANS ANYONE, should be able to fuck it up.

My boss has managed to hire two guys who have broken ShowTime's Day Dishwasher theory.
Thank God they were not two in a row. I would have killed somebody.

Any way, the math portion of our learning experience:
two dishwasher. one comes in at noon, the other at 6pm.
This gives day dishwasher to get all the shit to be done before 6pm 6 hours to do it in.
And there's not that much to do!
Scrub a few trays, take out cardboard boxes, ect. ect. ect.

I get there, all the shit from the morning, plus all the shit from my shift still has to be done!
1 Broken Blood Vessel.

Saturday night was a busy night. That Art Market was on the Square, so EVERYONE decided that they would eat at the Bedford that night.
I'm running back and forth between the dishwasher and the sink, trying to make sure that everyone has what they need.
Then the night manager says something that made me nearly shove a pan throw his big, dumb, Greek head;
"Brodie! I don't have time for anyone to be taking it easy!"

2 Broken Blood Vessels.

It is now midnight, in theory my shift should be over in half in hour.
12:30am, the Bedford closes.
I like theory's. Why?
Because they completely disregard reality.

I keep working.

It is now 2 am.
Still have some pans to do.
Pans that should have been down 14 hours prior.

Me says: Fuck it.
I'll leave them in the sick, filled with water.
Be ready to clean in the morning.

I clock out and check the time:
2:45am.

3 Broken Blood Vessels.

SUNDAY
I walk into work at 6pm. Same assclown as the day before... and the exact same shit that I left for him to do on the ground next the sink.

4 Broken Blood Vessels.

I got everything done Sunday night, including his shit, and Dave tells me that tomorrow (MONDAY) that Assclown dishwasher works and he is cleaning the fryer.

I smile with glee.

Then I realize this.

I will walk into the kitchen tomorrow (TUESDAY) to report from my two days (TUESDAY & WEDNESDAY) in the Anus.
And there, lying on the ground, being neglected by two dishwasher before me, will be the grill.
I will then commence my killing spree.

Now I know what you all are thinking;
"But Brodie, he's just new!"
A) You will refer to me as ShowTime
B) I was new once. Being new has nothing to do with neglecting your duties for washing the dishes received on your shift.
Not wanting to do the shit you have been appointed to do, however, does.

Now you are saying:
"Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering."

Well ladies and gentlemen, as Nick Broadley once left a message on Quinn Bradley's phone,

"The Dark Side Is Looming".